Some Funny GAA Quotes
As the football season hots up in the National League, Kerry are at home to Derry on Sunday at Austin Stack Park. This is a game we really need to win after our first two games ended in defeat. So just to lift the gloom from those defeats I just came across some funny quotes from fans and managers alike going back some years:
1. I love Cork so much that if I caught one of their hurlers in bed
with my missus, I'd tiptoe downstairs and make him a cup of tea"- Joe
Lynch, actor.
2. "We've won one All-Ireland in a row"-Wexford Fan in 1996.
3. "The toughest match I ever heard off was the 1935 All-Ireland
Semi-Final. After 6 minutes, the ball ricocheted off a post and went
into the stand. The pulling continued relentlessly and it was 22 minutes
before any of the players noticed the ball was missing" - Michael Smith.
4. "Sylvie Linnane would start a riot in a graveyard"-Tipp fan on
the Galway legend.
5. "I'm not giving away any secrets like that to Tipperary. If I
had my way, I wouldn't even tell them the time of the throw-in" - Ger
Loughnane.
6. "He's like Lazarus; but Lazarus didn't have such a sweet right
boot"-Micheal O'Muircheartaigh on Colin Corkery.
7. "Whenever a team loses, there's always a row at half time but
when they win, it's an inspirational speech"-John O'Mahony.
8. "There are 2 things in Ireland that would drive you to drink.
GAA referees would drive you to drink, and the price of drink would drive
you to drink"-Sligo Fan after 2002 Connact final.
9. 'Life isn't all beer and football...some of us haven't touched a
football in months' - Kerry player during league campaign 1980s
10. "When my friends were besotted with Jason Donovan, my heroes
were Colm O'Rourke and Barney Rock"-Sue Ramsbottom (Laois Ladies Captain).
11. 'We're taking this match awful seriously. We're training three
times a week now, and some of the boys are off the beer since Tuesday' -
Offaly hurler quote in the week before a Leinster hurling final vs.
Kilkenny
12. 'Ger Loughnane was fair, he treated us all the same during
training-like dogs' -anonymous Clare hurler
13. 'Any chance of an autograph? Its for the wife...she really hates
you' - Tipp fan to Ger Loughnane
14. 'You can't win derbies with donkeys' - Babs Keating before Tipp
played Cork in 1990
15. 'Sheep in a heap' -Babs Keating description of Offaly in 1998
16. 'Babs Keating 'resigned' as coach because of illness and
fatigue. The players were sick and tired of him' - Offaly fan in 1998
17. 'And as for you. You're not even good enough to play for this
shower of useless no-hopers' - Former Clare mentor to one of his subs after a
heavy defeat
18. 'Babs Keating was arrested in Nenagh for shaking a cigarette
machine,but the gardai let him off when he said he only wanted to borrow
twenty players' - Waterford fan after 2002 Munster final
19. 'They have a forward line that couldn't punch holes in a paper
bag'
* Pat Spillane on the Cavan football team
20. 'Meath players like to get their retaliation in first' -
Cork fan 1988
21. 'Meath make football a colourful game-you get all black and
blue'
* another Cork fan 1988
22. 'Colin Corkery is deceptive. He is slower than he looks' - Kerry
fan